people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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