Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize