worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
