And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
pop tarts are not kleenex
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize