Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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