I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
