I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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