If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
4 words: hood of his car
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
