woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
