the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
