Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
