She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
