So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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