am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
