Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
