guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Two words: blizzard sex
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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