she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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