it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
