Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
