Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize