Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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