I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
