how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize