Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
