I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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