so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
