There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
