A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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