Pants 0. Shit 1.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
