nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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