Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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