I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
