There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
