If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
