I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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