I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
