I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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