My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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