the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?