5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
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she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
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He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath