Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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