I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
