Having a random hookup so left but love u
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.