They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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