Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
