in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
