so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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