Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
