the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she pinky promised me she was 18
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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