the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
