so that wasnt chicken after all
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
