Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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