i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
