I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
