It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
