I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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