You're my little dorito
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
