was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
