Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
