my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
