Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
