Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize