Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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