Buhtt sex?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
what is it with giant penises always finding me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Congratulations! We have a period
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