Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.

(248): View more from Michigan

I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it

(734): View more from Michigan

Yeah...you probably will...

(248): View more from Michigan

well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.

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(248): Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me. (248): I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it (734): Yeah...you probably will... (248): well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year. http://tfl.nu/3k5k

Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (1303)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave

(617): View more from Massachusetts

dude are you serious?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I know you already have a pic on your phone

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(978): Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave (617): dude are you serious? (978): I know you already have a pic on your phone http://tfl.nu/k6lt

Replies (95) Good night (2633) Bad night (3181)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.

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(501): He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer. http://tfl.nu/ubeq

Replies (31) Good night (3245) Bad night (1343)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.

(803): View more from South Carolina

Genius.

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(704): I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty. (803): Genius. http://tfl.nu/hci7

Replies (25) Good night (3789) Bad night (649)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I had better be fucking involved with step four.

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(614): Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez. (1-614): I had better be fucking involved with step four. http://tfl.nu/poz4

Replies (46) Good night (5427) Bad night (968)
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(276): View more from Virginia

Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles

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(276): Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles http://tfl.nu/8prl

Replies (8) Good night (924) Bad night (4974)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.

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(505): well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop. http://tfl.nu/fta9

Replies (14) Good night (5592) Bad night (788)
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(503): View more from Oregon

if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

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(503): if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up. http://tfl.nu/w9vg

Replies (26) Good night (1266) Bad night (6692)
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(248): View more from Michigan

She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..

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(248): She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls.. http://tfl.nu/aren

Replies (5) Good night (2614) Bad night (1254)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.

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(360): I'll bring the barf blanket just in case. http://tfl.nu/d0c2

Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (2481)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

That's practically a relationship for you

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(479): Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week. (1-479): That's practically a relationship for you http://tfl.nu/hhkc

Replies (26) Good night (2025) Bad night (1058)
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(817): View more from Texas

your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha

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(817): your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha http://tfl.nu/t468

Replies (8) Good night (2184) Bad night (1026)
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(248): View more from Michigan

My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus

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(248): My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus http://tfl.nu/w26d

Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (917)
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(541): View more from Oregon

It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.

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(541): It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever. http://tfl.nu/ky4b

Replies (6) Good night (1695) Bad night (774)
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(312): View more from Illinois

My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

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(312): My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him. http://tfl.nu/tfrh

Replies (7) Good night (1016) Bad night (460)

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