Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.

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(315): View more from New York

words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover

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(214): View more from Texas

How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(231): View more from Michigan

Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?

(910): View more from North Carolina

succeeding

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(607): View more from New York

It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.

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(716): View more from New York

I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.

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