there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.