absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
