Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.

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  (630): Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun. http://tfl.nu/krwt
  Replies (8) Good night (783) Bad night (2119)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.

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  (765): I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot. http://tfl.nu/lv0c
  Replies (101) Good night (1662) Bad night (4645)
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  (310): View more from California

  but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

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  (310): but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps. http://tfl.nu/w1cf
  Replies (37) Good night (6110) Bad night (1224)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.

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  (408): I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party. http://tfl.nu/m1aw
  Replies (6) Good night (2854) Bad night (970)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"

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  (763): I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?" http://tfl.nu/jpwl
  Replies (7) Good night (2288) Bad night (1286)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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  (660): I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah http://tfl.nu/jyz7
  Replies (9) Good night (2244) Bad night (842)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.

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  (541): Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room. http://tfl.nu/wcn9
  Replies (7) Good night (2798) Bad night (658)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.

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  (419): Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli. http://tfl.nu/0eu4
  Replies (8) Good night (1091) Bad night (614)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.

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  (214): You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate. http://tfl.nu/ezsl
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (482)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.

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  (910): Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer. http://tfl.nu/mbe5
  Replies (5) Good night (1572) Bad night (509)
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  (707): View more from California

  Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.

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  (707): Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got. http://tfl.nu/yk6y
  Replies (5) Good night (507) Bad night (1516)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.

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  (407): Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship. http://tfl.nu/8uzj
  Replies (5) Good night (832) Bad night (430)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.

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  (585): I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING. http://tfl.nu/4rg4
  Replies (14) Good night (1439) Bad night (420)
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  (925): View more from California

  it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave

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  (925): it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave http://tfl.nu/lehg
  Replies (1) Good night (654) Bad night (268)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.

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  (602): I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit. http://tfl.nu/cxey
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (289)

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