When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
