We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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